This is how tomorrow is going to go in reality. I have to take Angel to her grandparents to take her to playgroup while I try to get some work done at home. She then gets brought back most likely very late and then we stay stuck in doing housework.
I failed.
I spent all week preparing myself only to go and fail. I got up Friday morning too calm. We dropped Angel off over at the main house with her grandparents then T drive us the 45 min drive. I was okay. A little anxious but 'normal' feelings.
Got there and met my instructor and he got me to do some driving. After nearly an hour I was beginning to get tired and was losing concentration. We finally stopped but not before my blood sugar was low. I managed to get time to eat a few crisps then I met my examiner and the test started. Anxiety- 0, panic - 0 confidence - 100. I truly was calm calmer than I've ever been in a tense test situation. I drove and I manoeuvred and I truly believed I would pass. No I knew I would. I was so focussed on it, on how well I was doing that I started to forget what I had to do. I left my indicator on way too long and confused other drivers not once but over 4 times. Major fail. I also messed up my positioning on a busy roundabout.
I go to the end I the test and despite all of that was sure id passed. He told me right off id failed and it was like a kick in the face. I was mortified, ashamed, I still am.
Yes I was tired from all the driving beforehand and my blood sugar was low but I also was overconfident. I am disgusted and disappointed. Not that I failed but with my stupidity. As If magically I would pass just through belief and positive thinking.
So many people knew I was doing the test and I had to announce to them all that I'd failed.
When I rebook my test I won't be telling anyone. Because then when I fail I won't have to feel so ashamed.
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