Today has been steadily getting worse, after a positive day there just had to be big negatives thrown in didn't there.
Its been going on a while with ny dad, my nanny still hasn't replied to me and P told me the funeral is on Wednesday. T keeps saying that its everyone else with the problem but it isn't, it can't be;there are too many people that hate me,not all of them are fucked up. It's me. Im a shit daughter, granddaughter and friend. I have barely anyone left and one day the 5 people that care for me will leave me too. Including Angel when she's old enough to know what I am and T when his heart changes. I guess that on the day I finally lose everyone I can leave this life behind.
Saturday, 8 September 2012
Lonliness
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Hey,
ReplyDeleteI don't think you are the wrong person or the one with the problem. I think your Mum is probably a very persuasive character and will have told her side of the family what she perceives to be true and then it carries on in that way, with things sliding out of your control. It doesn't make you a bad person and it doesn't necessarily make others bad either; I guess your Nanny is trusting her daughter, not that I think that is fair on you.
I am lucky to have my family on my Mum's side but I have lost a lot of family now on my "Dad's" side because you know his slippery character and he is telling his side of the story to them, so they all hate me and whatever. Their loss.
Your family is T and Angel now. Angel is NOT going to leave you. You are her Mummy (I hope that wasn't the word you said you hated, sorry if it was) and she loves and adores you. It was plain to see when I visited you. Same for T! You two can read each other like a book, it's cute. Why is his heart going to change?!
I'm not going to leave you, sorry, haha. At least now I am a little bit closer although not much which was confusing!! Anyway, you can reach me by phone, soon to be broadband when I move and letter :D Lucky you ;-)
/Essay.
Lxx