My night was full if nightmares, nightmares that didn't just cover one topic but all the things that are bothering me, scaring me and upsetting me. It was an onslaught if one after another. One of which involved some of T's family visiting and bringing with them a tummy bug. Tomorrow his family are coming to visit, I am terrified. I've tried to talk to him but he won't cancel. I'm not up to even socialising with people but I don't seem to have a choice.
When I got up this morning I really didn't want to. I didn't have the energy to fight the sleep and I didn't want to face the world. I don't really remember what was the trigger to get me awake but I got up and dressed and went downstairs. I was half asleep, almost as if my body and mind refused to wake up properly as a form of protection so I couldn't feel how I'm feeling. If that makes any sense at all.
When i realised that it wasn't going to get me anywhere, T wanted to get onto his work and Angel wanted her mum, I somehow managed to get moving.
The morning was actually okay in tend of looking after Angel and puppy but come 12 yet again They both turned evil and with my blood sugar dropping because j needed lunch it started to slip and go wrong.
I almost lost it in the afternoon again but somehow just just managed to hang on with my teeth.
The plan for tomorrow is that when we get up we have breakfast then drive up to the big shop and have a look for some nice food for over new year, spending a voucher we were given for the shop there. I would like to believe I can do it or at least try but I don't think I will.
As i said above, T's brother, sister in law and their three children are coming and I do don't want them too.
With all the stress, anxiety and stress my tummy has been feeling icky so tonight I've taken a blue tablet to try and settle it and make me sleep.
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