As the title says, I'm so fed up of not being able to go out. The doctor told me recently that people with a 'disease' like mine get worse in the autumn winter. Not sure why he used the word disease but I know I always get worse in the colder, duller months. Yesterday I didn't even try to go out, today I have everything ready but ok to afraid to even go for a walk let alone go into town like I'd planned/ wanted to. I feel like I'm proving those they have told me what a useless loser I am, right. What kind of a useless waste if air can't even take her daughter out to look around a few shops. Useless waste of oxygen. I can't even be bothered to take lorazepam because it probably won't help enough and then ill have side affects anyway.
What's the fucking point.
I just want to say here, for if you ever need to look back, that you are absolutely not a useless Mummy.
ReplyDeleteSo sometimes you might not be able to take Angel out to the shops but there is so much for her that you do.
You keep her occupied at home, you don't just stick her in front of the TV and never play games with her. A lot of Mums just do that but when I was at yours, Angel has all her toys and both yours and T's attention. That is a lot to give and obviously you can't do it 24/7 but you give it a lot.
Also, all the things you make for her like the silver cape & the spider. She loves you so much, you give Angel that. YOU - nobody else. She loves you because you are her Mummy.
Sorry for crappy phrasing here, it's something like 72 hours without sleep and my brain is frazzling in to outer space with pretty unicorns and rainbows?!!!
I still know though that you do loads for Angel and yep, rabbit rabbit I go. :P Xxxxxxxx
Thank you so much, You are the bestest friend ever and you always manage to reassure me. xxx
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