Failing

I thought I was coping well with the thought if going to the dentist. I thought I was okay. But anyone who takes somethung to self-harm with to bed just in the hope of doing enough damage to die or magically get me out of it isn't coping. I feel like I've lost the grip I'd just gained and my head is hitting that brick wall again. My mum was right, it is always excuses, I am weak and I will never be good enough. Angel and T deserve more. I just want to beg someone to take this fear away. Please.