Grr

Last night, after hours of looking at prices and deliberation, I finally bit the bullet and booked a room in the center of town for me and Angel for two nights when the work will be going on. I was pleased with it and even looking forward to mine and Angel's little holiday as well as us being able to give T some time off and a lay-in.

I'm guessing you're sensing a but here and you'd be right. T has a pre-op assessment on Friday and basically said that if I was going to be out all day and wouldn't come home to look after the dog (who doesn't need looking after) then he would cancel it. So I had to cancel the reservation so I can be at home to oversee the work that I didn't want to be here for so he will go to his appointment. I'm a ..bit.. pissed off.

To make matters worse; T used the toilet this morning and since it hasn't worked. Been trying to get it sorted all day but no luck so now we have a toilet which isn't working and he has no intention of calling up to ask to get the work done earlier. Not even sure if they could but there has to be an alternative to this. We have no ffing loo at all apart from a chemical loo which isn't a real one. Peeing I'm not so fussed about although I am quite private but no.2's well lets say that when I lived at my parents place I was bullied and told off so much for going that I stopped, I trained myself to only go every few weeks at the most and when no one was in the house. It would hurt me, make me poorly but it was better that than be disgusting or in the way of one of them. Sometimes I was in so much pain and felt so ill I was forced to do things that I'm not ready to admit yet. This has made me very sensitive to the whole thing as well as being sensitive about the toilet anyway. I won't use public loo's and there isn't a hope in hell of me using the chemical one. I have been training myself to wait a lot longer simply because I rarely get time with Angel, the house etc but that's different from not being able to let myself at all. If only I had the money, I would go and stay in a hotel for the week, but alas I don't have that much money so I guess bring on a week of pain and illness.

On a slightly brighter note before I stop, I popped out today on no loraz and brought some things for my business and we took puppy to a park, I walked him around when it was quite busy while T took Angel on the play area where dogs weren't aloud. It was okay apart from the stress of him pulling when other stupid dog owners weren't controlling their dogs and letting them run at him which riled him up. I spent the afternoon doing all the housework (back to normal) because T's knees were playing up and after doing it all, making dinner and taking puppy for a walk around the area past lots of weird people walking and in cars and smoking weed, alcohol, broken glass everywhere and even some of 'it' in one place. I did it though, in the dark, on my own, on no meds and having eaten earlier. Have to admit I don't feel safe in this area at the moment, the new lot that have come into the salvation army house on the opposite side of the road are very rough and bad.