Grrr I'm getting so peed off with this now. I have tried this blog entry 5 times using the method of straight onto blogger and copy and pasting it to ensure I don't lose it. But so far every attempt has failed. I'm really beginning to wonder whether to hang write my blog and take pictures of the bits I want to share. I'm getting so bored of typing it and losing it and not getting time to get my laptop out and it taking twice as long by phone.
What I was trying to say was that Tuesday was spent working my butt off doing cleaning and tidying and sorting and housework. I'd planned to have the afternoon off to do some cross stitch while angel played but it never happened. Yesterday was the same in the end and I went to bed too hyped to sleep but completely worn out.
Today I didn't even plan to have a quiet day. I helped Nanny J (who I now call mum for ease and because it fits) to empty and dismantle one of her marine tanks. T wasn't doing so well and I was juggling angel, Dyson, helping mum and helping him all at once. I let my blood sugar get low, I wanted to hurt but since I've been here I haven't self harmed except a small scratch, so I starved myself and made myself ill instead. I'd like to add that I didn't just do it out of spite, when I got over to the main house to help out I was informed that cousin R was off school feeling 'unwell' the type I'm terrified of. My emeto kicked right up but I held if off while I did all the helping until it got too much and T was feeling better and we were back at out house and I just cried and continued to starve myself. I had to eat in the end and have vaguely had dinner but I'm too afraid to have much. I'm now sitting up in bed imagining the worst, feeling like I'm already infected and terrified. I'm hoping that tomorrow brings news that cousin R wasn't ill in the end, just ate something not quite right. Please be that and not anything else.
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