Making memories

Yesterday I was very low. For most of today I haven't been much better but I have been able to see the brighter side of things in some ways. Angel spent most of the morning playing with her cousins as they were off school because of the snow again, after lunch we all went out into the field and had snowball fights and played on the play area (yep we have a play area out the front!) then we went into the field and made snow angels and a solider snowman with pink gloves. It was so much fun and I found myself just laughing freely and running around like one of the children. The rest of the afternoon was spent with Angel playing very happily DVD quietly with cousin K after auntie K had taken the other three home. They role played mummies and children for hours while I sat in the kitchen talking to nanny J and Grandad R. I also filled out Angels application to playgroup.
I made dinner for nanny and grandad tonight, I made pizza and they were both thrilled and felt treated because they're very rarely cooked for. Grandad R brought Angel a sledge and then surprised me with a glorious very special jar of lemon curd mmmmmm. It's nice to feel like I belong.

Tonight T is coming back/home after a stressful week at work :( I can't wait to see him, I have butterflies like a teenager on a first date. My sister P was supposed to be coming too but I think I put her off. She was so unsure and I think she felt more like she had to come than she wanted to which should't be the way it is. I feel guilty for putting points across that put her off but calmer that I don't have the extra panic. Also I'm debating going back to hometown next week to finish packing some things, it's not set I'm stone but I wouldn't have been able to travel at all with P in the car, it presses too many triggers.

After barely any sleep last night my tummy is a little wibbly and I'm exhausted so I think I'm going to set up a nest on the floor and watch something until T gets home. Home? Here? Back? Is this home now? :/