Pain and walking

Today's small goal was to walk to the post box, large goal or extended goal was to walk to the Sainsburys  just on the edge of town to get a few things that we need to hold us over for the week. 
I got Angel in her large pram with our bags ready and we went out. The walk to the post box was fine, we then went through the little park out onto the main road and from there down to the big park. It was quite busy crossing over to go into there and I worried a little about it but mostly just tried to stay in the present, thinking to myself that in this moment I feel okay and the amount of people around me don't have any effect on how I feel inside. It worked and I got through the park out the other side to the short walk down to the shop I needed. However I froze once I got out of the park and I was convinced I didn't feel very well and that I would feel worse if I went any further. I knew it was anxiety but I didn't feel I could push it any further that way. 
I turned us around and started walking back through the park. We then we up along the main road then into the little park and through a different way out into the road then down another and another for a longer walk home. Angel got bored in the end but I could had walked for hours. I let her out of the pram on the last street and she walked holding onto it for the rest of the way home. 


My tooth has hurt on and off throughout the day. Painkillers work a little bit but even when I'm on them the pain comes and goes. I'm trying to to tie myself in knots about it. I'm trying to enjoy every moment. Trying is all I can do I guess, especially as I have entered into my depressive phase. The meds are having some effect though, I have managed not to cut and I'm not constantly crying. 


T hasn't had a good day today, he has been feeling episodic and depressed. I think he may have even experienced a sort of low level panic attack at least once too. He came home to me at lunch time shaking and upset and I sat with him just holding him for hours to try to make him feel better. I also gave him some aconite and a whole chocolate egg. He isn't as bad now so i must have done something right. 


Now I'm going to indulge in a mocha dessert and hope to do some writing to keep my mind busy from worrying about my teeth, especially as I have a bigger goal in mind for tomorrow if tonight and the morning goes to plan.