Helping

Wednesday the network that me and those closest to me are on, went down..it was very frustrating and very worrying when T had to go out to work yesterday morning and I had no way of contacting him. My goal was to walk up to the post box to post the Dvd back that we'd watched Wednesday afternoon. I had the lack of communication against me which would have been a good excuse not to go and I also realised after testing that my blood pressure was down and my blood sugar too. So I did something I've never done before, because of having things in my mouth = panic, I sucked a Lolly as I walked along. Just the sweet taste had me feeling a bit edgy but the alternative was not go out or go and and faint. I forced myself to keep going and we posted the CD and did a small loop back home. I wasn't up for being out long or much pushing but I did consider going to visit K. Good thing I didn't, they were out anyway. 

We came home and sat outside for a while then decided to go play in the sandpit and I did a little gardening. 


~ This part of the blog isn't all about me and I'm not going to go into to much detail for her sake. ~

When we got back inside K text me to say she'd had to get a taxi home because she was having a huge panic. She asked me if I could go over and although id not long eaten 'non-safe' food, I put the Dvd on pause, grabbed my bag and Angel and I rushed to her house. By the time I got there I was panicky myself but I took half a lorazapam with my shaking hands and focused on K and making her feel better, being the support she needed. 
After much cuddling, distraction and reassurance oh and meds, she began to calm down and feel a little better. My panic had gone and I felt settled. After a while, I had to get Angel home and give her her lunch so we said goodbye and left a much calmer K and her family. 


One things I did do yesterday that I probably shouldn't have was cancel my blood test. Typical that I cancelled it yesterday and today I'm feeling extra tired, drinking lots, and having blood sugar problems. I'm going to do a blood test tomorrow morning to work out if I need another one or not. 


Anyway back to yesterday, in the evening K had another big panic and I spoke to her by text to begin with then over the phone, just rambling on about any and everything to keep her mind busy. She was beginning to calm by the end of it and I was just very very pleased I could help her out.


I was going to write my blog last night before bed, but I fell asleep writing it so here I am now, even later than last night and feeling like I might fall asleep on it again. 


Today I took an anti dizzy tablet and half a lorazapam to ensure that I would be able to go out okay. K and A came round with Phia first thing and then T went out and I got my panic and blood sugar in order and walked up to the post box to post an important letter for a friend. I then walked with K and A down to the corner of the road then decided that I felt okay enough to try walking up to the doctors to get the prescription that I needed to pick up.


I managed to keep myself calm, and nibbled crisps along the way, up to the docs and fortunately there wasn't anyone in the queue to speak to the receptionist so I went straight up and got it then came out again. I thought about going into the chemist next door to get the meds but decided that I'd done challenge enough and I'd get them tomorrow when we got to the supermarket shopping. 


By the time I got home, I was feeling absolutely exhausted and I fell asleep a few times while Angel was having her lunch, that was after having some lucozade. When Angel got out of her highchair and she seemed tired enough I put her in her cot and went to bed myself. I never do that kinda thing but I was so tired, I couldn't focus of think or see straight. I put it down to mixing the lorazapam and anti dizzy and then having hot food for lunch. Hopefully it isn't a sign of full blown diabetes. Starting to poo myself in fear about it all now again. Thinking I should have just had the test done today. 


This evening another of my friends was having a rough time and I gave her text support to help her out and I'm keeping my fingers crossed that it helped. 


I need to go to bed now before I sleep sitting up. I'm so exhausted my eyes are burning. 


Tomorrow we need to go food shopping in the morning and then in the afternoon, my sister and daddy are coming over and it's my sister's birthday so we have pressies and cards for her. 


Night for now