A visit from family

Last night was a little restless due to several panic attacks for me and Angel deciding that part way through the night she would wake up and sing and dance in her bed. She took a few hours to go back to sleep and in the end T decided to get up at 5 in the morning to do his work so he could spend the day with his visiting family. He was also helping one of our very closest friends over text and I was so grateful for him being there for her when I was knocked out by my meds. She's such a lovely person and right now she's having a rough time, I'm really hoping that things improve for her soon, she doesn't deserve all of this rubbish that comes her way. <3

Today seems to have gone by very quickly. I was worried about T's family coming to visit because it's a rare thing and whenever we have gone to see them in the past we quite often ended up getting poorly. I got up and after having panics and nightmares all night, jumped into the shower so I felt better, then T had a shower and went to his physio and I looked after Angel for an hour on my own, including bathing her and playing with her until he came home. Thankfully I felt better able to cope today, I'm not sure why but I'm grateful for it. The only problem was when my tummy ache came on worse and I ended up sitting doubled up in pain and feeling dizzy from it while Angel played in the bath, I ended up getting her out and dry so that if I did pass out or something she would be safe. I was okay and when T got home from his physio appointment he persuaded me to take some ibuprofen for the pain, especially as I had a headache too. 

The painkillers didn't do very much of anything, the tummy ache seemed to ease a little but it never went completely. The headache didn't even flinch at the drugs. 

T's family arrived here earlier than we'd expected which is a big feat for them! He and his family have a nasty and very annoying habit of always being late. 

I thought I would freak out and need some lorazapam to calm me down, but I happened to be having Angel cuddles when they got here and she clung to me like a monkey until she got used to them, and instead of being afraid of her getting ill or something, I cuddled her and smelt her (she smelled of shampoo and lush bubble bar, nom) Eventually she went to play and I sorted out some drinks and snacks for everyone and then a while later some lunch which had me coming in and out of the room and I spent quite a bit of time chatting to KP our sister-in-law who is so lovely. 

I ended up having just some crackers for lunch because I was worried about feeling poorly because of my tummy but I did eat them in the living room with everyone else and I ate them all.( well all 4). 

After lunch Angel found the bags of presents from T's family and she delved into opening them, (lucky girl gets two birthdays!) She was thrilled and was bouncing with excitement and it was wonderful to be able to watch her and join in, feeling relaxed and at ease rather than panicking and having to keep sipping my drink like a water starved loon. She got a playmat with cars, a tool box and tools, some puzzles, colouring and a little cat carrier with vet set and kitty inside. She was over the moon and I just can't wait to see her little face on her actual birthday. 

After a while I eventually persuaded myself to get off my ass and make Angel's birthday cake. KP came through to talk to me again and I made a lovely smelling vanilla and chocolate marble cake. While it was cooking and I couldn't move away from the oven in case it started to burn, Angel's nanny J played with her which she loved and her cousin A played with T on the Xbox. Her other little cousin E had a sleep in her pram, but it all felt so okay and homey. 

After I'd been cooking I started to feel a bit rumbly and my headache came back full force, making me feel lightheaded and like the light was too bright. I forced myself to have some food in private after I'd maneuvered everyone out the front to play football so I could have some quiet time, then I went outside and joined them and the air seemed to help. When we came back inside, the children declared they were all hungry too, so I stayed home with A and nanny J while T went out with the two girls and our sister-in-law to get McDonalds (its easiest with all of us to eat.) I made use of the time to go around and do the housework so that now I can just write my blogs, do some work and relax. 

When they got back, I set up the children to eat then ate myself in the same room, in the middle of everyone. I actually did alright, I didn't eat it all but I ate a good portion and I did feel a little edgy but I just sipped my drink and nibbled and was okay once the food settled. 

They all left about six and Angel went to bed, very over tired but happy. 

Tomorrow we were supposed to be going to the zoo for Angel's birthday treat but the drive is quite a distance and T's knees are very bad at the moment so I suggested going to the butterfly farm which is closer, but with how his knees are today, we just don't know if he will be up to driving very far at all. I have a few more things that I want to get Angel for her birthday so I was thinking that if he can't drive far we can just go up the road to get the few things I want then KR will be coming round some time during the day and Angel loves him to bits. I haven't said anything to T yet but I was thinking that if he isn't up to going out at all, he could stay home and have a daddy Angel morning, (which they very very rarely do) and I could go out to town or something and get her the things and have a morning shopping.... maybe.