Changing the way I think.

Goodness me, I apologize for any whiplash my poor readers are getting but after a shaky start this morning, I'm at least coping. 


When I got up this morning, Angel and I had a bath shower together then we slowly got dressed and ready for the day and due to T's knees being very sore we decided on only a short trip out. I didn't bother with lorazapam and we just did it. When we got home I wasn't in a very good mood, there was no reason for it, I just felt snappy and irritable. I warned T and tried my best to snap out of it, eating helped as I'd let my blood sugar slide and that is never good for my mood. 
I found that keeping busy helped and T set me the task of making some cookies while he watched Angel play. I made some huge dino sized choc chunk butterscotch cookies and then some rice crispie cakes made with white and milk chocolate and mini marshmallows which melted into the chocolate. 
I then cleaned and did housework for a while and when Angel decided to have a sleep I did some writing which also helped me. Now I think I'm just either in denial about my teeth or I have managed to push it to the very back of my mind. I feel like I will deal with it when it comes but it isn't now so I don't need to be a wreck. I'm thinking that is the best way to be about it and I am pleased that's how I seem to be thinking although I'm not sure how I managed to turn it around that way. 
Right now I feel like I can do this but I know come the night before and I won't feel that way at all. It will feel like the end of the world.




Yesterday with the help of my sister I decided that for my dad's birthday in a few weeks I would paint him a canvas. Today I had the idea to paint a mountain scene of the mountains he is going to be camping at for his birthday weekend. It isn't for two weeks yet but because he's going away, Saturday will be the last day I see him before then, so I have 5 days to paint a masterpiece. I have started it this evening and I have drawn the design roughly and painted the sky. It's odd, I don't have any idea how to paint, I've never been taught and if I'm honest the books I have, I am too lazy to read, so how I stood there and drew that mountain range and then painted a beautiful blue sky I'll never know. It's like something else takes over my mind and I just do it out of instinct than talent. 


I'm going to go to bed soon and tomorrow I will ring the dentist and see if my dentist will be coming back to work soon so I can make an appointment. Then I will deal with the fear and panic. Going to distract my mind now, just thinking about it is bringing it back and I don't need that right now.