Role play day

I've been sitting here for over an hour trying to work out what to write when only a few hours ago I wanted to write loads. 
Today has been difficult, T was out at work all morning and I was feeling quite anxious. Angel and I had a quiet morning, just sorting some things out and her playing role play games like shopping, picnics, looking after her baby, living in her house etc and she seemed to be content to play on her own and just have the occasional interaction from me. It meant that I could enjoy watching her play, get some photos and work on the final part of the dress for her knitted bear. 

We both got bored around the same time and I decided to take her out for a very short walk, to push my boundaries and get us both some air. There was nothing to post for once so we just walked hand in hand up the road and round the corner in one direction then came back because I hadn't expected to get far so hadn't locked the door and there were suspicious people hanging around. Then I locked the door and really pushed my comfort zone, taking Angel for a walk up the road the other way and further than I felt comfortable going. I have to admit that part of the reason I was uncomfortable out and about was because I was worried about bumping into someone in the area while I was on my own. 

Back at home, I put some lunch in the oven and tried my very best to distract Angel while the food cooked as she was claiming starvation and decided she couldn't wait without trying to eat all her play food. 

When T came home from work and after lunch Angel continued to go about the living room playing her games and entertaining me and T. It was so cute and thinking back now I wish I'd got some video of it. 
She had an hour nap in the afternoon and I plunged into my writing again while she slept, then she woke up and I got triggered majorly by the way she was behaving, it was identical to the way she'd been behaving when she'd gotten poorly a few weeks before and I was convinced that she was unwell again. T reassured me that she was okay, just tired and sent me around the house, doing little jobs to keep me occupied and after she's eaten she perked up and began playing and giggling again and although I was still feeling faint and icky from my panic I was relived and relaxed a little, although I can't relax completely now and I feel a little like today I have taken a step back again. T thinks its because of things that were said knocking my confidence which is fragile anyway and I guess with no other answers, he's probably right. 

I got some Avon delivered to me tonight and I was over the moon that the night dresses I ordered, in my size for once, came and it means that I have something new to wear to bed that has no connections or associations with anything bad, the only risk is that my OCD deems them to be bad luck for some reason and I won't be able to wear them.