Catch up

I can't believe today is Thursday already and thats it's almost Friday. Wednesday I didn't really set a goel for myself, I'd had a rotten nights sleep and was feeling very groggy all day. I'd hoped that we could go out somewhere nice and felt very dissapointed when I couldnt even walk to begin with beucause of how tired and dizzy I was. After an anit-dizzy tablet we decided to try to go to a library which was 2nd best to the garden centre we planned to go to. Unfortinately on 0 lorazapam and with my head being all fuzzy I was extra sensitive so when we got near our local one and there were no nearby parking spaces we thought we'd try another, but that one also didnt have any nearby spaces to park in so I asked T to bring me home. I helped him get the pram ready and he took Angel into town for a few hours to go to the central library and get some lunch. I spent the time they were out writing some of my book. I don't really remember much about the evening.

I went to sleep about quarter to twelve and was woken up less than five minutes later by a panic attack for no reason that I could come up with. I spent the best part of an hour battling with the sedative affects of my new meds and the strong panic attack. I finally must have gone off to sleep, and continued to have a very disturbed night with Angel waking up a few times. I fortinately wasnt very groggy this morning though and a mug of strong mocha helped with that as well. T went out and I set the goal of going to the shop beucause I wasnt feeling up to walking to the postbox or for a walk. It was beautiful and sunny and we went and sat outside to share a snack. Once Angel was bored of the crisps we went around to the shop and I stayed calm so when we had popped back home I grabbed my bag and forced myself despite my panic attack to walk up to the postbox and back. Not one of our nicest outings but I did it regardless and I think that that is part of the battle, keeping going even when things get tough.

Tomorrow I'm meeting a friend for the first time, I'm a little anxious about it but im more excited than anything. We are planning to pick her up from the train station and go to a nearby craft store to look around. Hopefully it will help Angel be less shy too, although I don't think she'll be too bad, just a feeling.

I'm not expecting to get a lot of sleep tonight, I have almost finished writing my book and my mind is full of ideas and stuff for the end of it as well as the next one. I also have horrendous heartburn from my Flouxidine which I havn't had for ages but tonight, it is back with the vengence. I have had to take my new tablet with the heartburn beucase it was getting late, so my throat is now burning like there is something painful stuck. I'm kinda dreading the sedative affect of the meds beucause im not ready for sleep with this feeling.