A 'normal' day

Fridays Goal: Pick up a friend from the train station and then go in a few shops to look around. Eat with company then take my friend back to the station.

I was fine picking L up from the station, T and Angel came in the car and then we drove across to the row of shops with a craft store and toyshop. We went in both and I felt completely fine and at ease with my friend who i hadnt met before. When we got back to our house we had some chips and I had a pie for lunch and I ate a good amount and didnt feel panicky. We chatted and later the big task of returning my friend to the station came, I was very anxious getting in the car, knowing i'd eaten under 4 hours ago and what i consider non-safe food and I knew my lorazapam was beginning to wear off. But I took a couple of aconite and we went, I felt a bit anxious and edgy but I was okay and managed to stay mostly calm. Once we'd dropped her off T said he wanted to go to the pos office which was a drive away from the station and I just thought, well im out now we may as well, and like that we went, I was fine, nibbled some crisps in the car then came home.

T was in a very odd mood last night, irritable and sensitive and he snapped at me a little which upset me. I decided to help him by doing some hypnotism/relaxation with him. I actually enjoyed it more than I thought I would, my words came and I knew exactly what to say to make it work. It felt like I was almost in a different plane myself doing it to him. Afterwards he woke up and was much calmer and happier and he has continued to be today too.

Saturday (today) Goal: To go shopping at the big arena Tesco for our weekly food shop.

We got up early and I took half a lorazapam then we got ready, and we went out about 9 i think. It was a nice quiet journey there and I didn't feel panicky at all. We arrived and managed to park quite close near the middle doors. Then we went in and had a look around the shoe shop first as I've been after some shoes to go with my skinny jeans. I found some beautful denim and pink ones (not at all my usual style) and they felt fine and I decided theyy would look nice in all my skinny jeans so got them. We then had a look around game which was still fairly near the car (althought i didnt feel anxious at all, and didnt even think about the need to go back). After that shop T payed for a game we'd found and I decided to go into the huge proper Tesco myself to start looking at the clothes. I didnt see anything I really fancied then T met back up with me and Angel and we started the shopping. I pushed the trolly for parts of it, I went off and ran errands for parts of it, each time leaving my bad with my drink, meds, keys etc all my safety things with T beucase I felt fine enough to not need them, or even think about needing them. We did the checkout then T took the shopping back to the car while I took Angel into the library to look for a few knitting books for me. I found a good few then sat at some little tables with Angel to look at some books for her. Also found so Italion books :)

Next we decided what the hell we're out and all enjoying ourselves lets go somewhere else. So we drove across to The Range. I dont really remember much of the drive, i niobbled my crisps and just enjoyed the journey. There we went to the very back of the store away from the doors and toilets to the pet section and picked up a scratching post for our cats. From there we payed then instead of moving the car as near o sanisburys as we could get, which we would have to usually do for me to feel comfortable enough to even make it inside the shop doors, we walked across and left the car where it was. We went right to the back of the shop to where the bread and bakery part it, the hardest part usually for me beucase of the smells and fresher food.

I was fine and then we went to pay, then walked back to the car and decided that because Angel wa so tired we should head home to put the shopping away and get some lunch.

So now Angel is going to have her nap and once I've finsihed blogging I'm going to sit with my huge bottle of cherry coke and work on making some more handmade jewellery to sell in my shop. I'm hoping I'll manage to get my 2rd book finsihed later today too.