The time is ticking by, Tick tock, tick tock. I'm still not managing to get anything done. It feels like all my ambitions and desires are slipping away. My writing is suffering, my family are suffering and my craft is suffering.
I spent hours in the garden today, working my ass off lugging breeze blocks around, fence panels and tidying out the shed. Sweeping and tidying and weeding and moving the two story rabbit cage about. I exhausted myself and made the garden more or less totally Angel safe. But I still don't feel like I've achieved anything.
I know I've been told I'm being to harsh on myself and I think somewhere inside me I know I am, or think I might be but I can't even do the things I enjoy anymore, then whats the point?
Just feel so angry at myself right now. Angry because everything I do Isn't good enough, I can't do my fans justice, I can't do my characters justice or my story lines and ideas.My head just hurts and I'm tired of trying. It feels like I've hit a mental brick wall.
I'm wasting time, just wasting the time I have to do the things I like. Waster Waster Waster.
I hate myself.
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