New laptop and a brilliant Sunday

The goal today was to go out with Angel and T to a park then to PC World to look at the laptops. As I had such a sucessful day yesterday I decided to try todays goals without any lorazapam.

I decided to wear my new pink and denim trainers and some skinny jeans (not at all my usual style as I'm usually too self-concious.)

We got ready and it took a while then finally we climbed into the car and went. I didnt feel at all panicky and when we got to the park I left my bag and all its contents including my drink and phone in the car and played with Angel in the park. I kinda felt as if my bag was almost symobolic and i felt like I had nothing weighing me down as we walked around and just had some fun in the warm weather. From there me and Angel shared some crisps in the car as we travelled the few miles to PC World. We had to sit in the car for a little while when we arrived as it wasnt open but although the place was very huge and imposing I sat happily in the car munching crisps and chattering away to Angel and T. When the doors opened I didnt hesitate, i got Angel out and we went into the huge building with the crowd that had gathered outside. The entrance door was the whole long shop length away from the exit door and we'd parked the car in the middle of the two. Usually I'd have been beside myself with panic and worry about getting out but I wasnt at all. I was focussed on doing what it was we were there to do -which was looking for a new laptop for me so T can have my old one for his work - while watching Angel and keeping her entertained. I practised typing on a few, explored the mouse pad and got a feel for them in my own time, relaxed. I deicded I really liked a red one which has a huge spec and memory with web cam etc etc. Big wide screen and very nice to type on. I am now in fact typing on the laptop I fell in love with. We brought it and had more of a look around then drove home to have a picnic outside our house in the sun on a blanket. I am totally blown away at how calm and composed I was today and how little worry or panic I had. I have a suspician that it is was becuase I'm in a more manic phase and things don't bother me or get me down anywhere as near as much when I'm in that state. I only wish I could perminately stay so happy and upbeat and fun.

Today = a success and I absolutely love my new laptop.

There are a few friends that I'm worried about at the moment, they both read this and I would like to say don't worry you arent a burden and I'm here for you, whenever you need me <3

Errol