I ended up falling asleep on the sofa beside T while Angel slept. It was very unlike me but it was probably the lorazapam and the warm food, I always forget and do that. They both woke me up at half 3 and I walked round to see if the pool was open, it was closed again for the same problem but it had been open in the morning.
We were all disappointed even me who was now on 0 meds and terrified of going swimming.
We decided to take Angel to a big indoor soft play area instead and she was so happy and confident but say at the same time. She carried her Peppa Pig around with her and was showing the other children. I managed to keep my anxiety mostly under control then we left to go into the arcade. I was completely calm by this point and was entertained by Angel trying to play the racing games, more 2ps. I won Angel a cute little green dinosaur for her room.
Angel is now fed, bathed and in bed with her chocolate milk and its all quiet. Giving me a chance to think about how quick its all going and begin to feel depressed about going home. I keep reminding myself of the good things at home. Of K and Phia and mine and Angels special mummy daughter mornings. But at home everything seems so much harder. I feel like here Im not bound by the same rules. That I'm on a learning curve and I don't want that to end. I miss home but I font want my freedom taken away again.
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