Holiday day 5 continued

This afternoon the idea had been to go swimming now the pool is open again. I wasn't sure but I had some lorazapam and got the bags ready for when Angel woke up. I was very unconvinced but we got ready once Angel woke up and we walked there. It was completely empty except us and that made me feel calmer. Angel loved it after an initial unsure phase. She picked up kicking her legs and moving her arms and she astounded both me and T with her confidence and bravery. I was struggling at times, swimming has always been very scary for me. The fact that it was so quiet helped me and I tried to focus on playing and teaching Angel and set little challenges to myself like swimming across the pool, swimming under water etc. We were in there about an hour then Angel started getting tired so we came back and cooked dinner. All three of us were ravenous. Now I've eaten sweat and sour chicken with vegetable rice and despite the colours I'm now debating whether to go to the arcade for a while on my own on my full tummy and no meds. Not sure whether ill manage it or even be brave enough yet.