Another day in the sun

Today was another hot sunny day. I knew as soon as I got up that wasn't going to like it. I was worried about going shopping in such hot weather, knowing that if I had a panic I wouldn't have the car as my safe space like I usually use it as, because it would be way to hot to sit in there even with the doors open. T helped me set a few other goals instead and he took Angel out shopping. 
So Goal 1 was to walk up to the post box alone and post a stack of letters. I went out with sweets and snacks in my bag as well as two cool drinks and walked to the post box. It wasn't too much of a push and although I was worried about the weather I wasn't really panicky. That is despite having two pancakes for breakfast, piled high with lemon curd and some of T's cold turkey burgers, odd breakfast but nice. 


The second, extended goal that we set but didn't expect me to do was to go up to the post office and buy some stamps. I had my zen music player listening to because I was alone and  decided to walk up that way anyway as it was all in the shade and I thought whether I managed to get there properly it would be a nice cool walk. At the corner I took a deep breath, had a sweetie and carried on up to the main road and into the post office. There wasn't anyone in the actually post office part so I went up to the desk and asked the man for what I wanted which took a while, then I paid, sorted the stamps into my purse and went back round the corner and down the road to the shaded way home. At the little park I decided to go out onto the main road and just carry on walking along, I was happy and calm and content just walking along with the slight breeze in the sun with my music on munching my snacks. I was on half a lorazapam because I'd intended to go out with T and Angel shopping but this was the first time even on Lorazapam that I had gone out after eating properly and not panicked. 


I was going to talk about something else, a much harder subject for me, but I just deleted it all and wrote this instead. I guess I'm not ready just yet. 


Tonight T and I are having our belated date night, watching the eurovision song contest, Im soooo excited, I love the Eurovision song contest!!!!!!!!!! I've probably already said that. I have candy and chocolate and snacks and I'm ready for it now, only an hour to wait. Yay!